Disclaimer: All characters whether dead or alive has no relation to the story.
A piece of mystery that never comes to an end at every turn…
Chapter 1 – the thoughts
I came to know her back in July 2004. In the first days of entering a new school in a new class for a new course – Diploma in Nursing. She broke the ice when I first join the class. That was when I started to fall for her. Maybe you call this love at first sight. But deep within me, it is this feeling of trust in her that led me to like her. Though she looking plum and doesn’t seem appealing at all. As the days went by, I got to know her even better as we tend to hang out together with her friends in class.
Through this, we got to know one another even better. As the more I got to know her, I also got to know that her enemy, back in her secondary school was a Gemini too. And from her experience with her ex, I wasn’t a true Gemini in her opinion as true Gemini’s are more outgoing and tend to enjoy partying. For me, I am outgoing to a certain extend, and limits myself to certain things and events and am not always that outgoing and keeps a part of myself to myself at times.
The truth only came to light when someone in class probe me this question – who is the person you like? Is she in our class? As I was cornered into answering this question, firstly because it was inside my blog and secondly that since they asked I might as well tell her since I had no courage to speak up to her. I told them the truth in front of her. She was shocked and in disbelief. That I would fall for her – someone who is not pretty and above all not slim at all. She is a Chinese Indian. Her dad is an Indian and her mother is a Chinese. However, it didn’t occur to me that I would have fell for her in the first place and I did not bother with whatever her race was. So long as she speaks my native tongue and is able to communication with my parents… let’s not talk too much about these since it would have been out of point.
I consulted Amanda, on how I should go about wooing her since I was a novice and had not even dated anyone before. I did not succeed in wooing in the end. We turned for the worse – became enemies instead. On the day I passed her 2 bears, one get well soon bear and another alphabet bear, she accepted them at first, but ended up I threw them away as she couldn’t accept me in the end. The reason being I shouted at one of my classmate who made fun of my name. Why on earth would I have done such a foolish thing? Why? I asked myself, the reason being that I was heated up at that point in time and this classmate of ours just made be boil for the past few lessons making fun of my name. I ended up screaming at her outside the lecture theatre before out lecture for the day.
I guess she cried and i felt bad. Apologies to her, but it wasn’t accepted. That evening, someone returned me the toy, told me that she couldn’t accept it. It was all over. On the last day of our first term. Just even before the start of our 1 week holiday.
That night she told me that she couldn’t accept the toy because I shouted at a classmates. I explained myself and ask for forgiveness and didn’t have anymore to tell her since there wasn’t much for me to say to her.
Chapter 2 – the flashbacks
A few days before I officially made it known to her, my classmates have already started to ask me why I had fallen for her. My answer to them was because I like her. But I gave up on the day I made my love be known to her. Why? Because the night before, I came to know that she has someone else which she liked. That news was broke to me indirectly when someone close to her asked her something related to who she liked.
Well, even before I broke the news to her that I liked her, she has begun to avoid me and even worse started to back stab me. I did not come to know the reason why, however, there was once in the lift I saw her talking about something in front of my classmates about me. It was something nasty – not nice to the hearing of the ears. When she saw me inside the same lift, with a faceless expression, she was stunned. Thereafter she kept her mouth shut. Until the moment news broke that I liked her – it was broken in front of her in the library. And she immediately walked out of the library and her friends followed suit for fear that she will do something bad to herself. For one thing, she had indirectly hurt me and I must say I am sometimes slow in response to such. That should explain the reason as to why she had such a huge response.
Anyways those were in the past now as I am typing this story out from the word processor on a rainy day. Will the sun ever come out to shine before me with a new chapter in my life? I’ll just have to wait and see. It’s been quite sometimes since that incident has passed by. We are no longer enemies, just normal classmates.
Thoughts
This story should have been written quite sometime ago, however, due to my tight schedule had to re-schedule all my stories to the holiday period to complete them. Thus, explains this slight delay in these being completed. And you would also have noticed that every turn marks something new happening.
Written: December 6th, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Theraphy Touch :: October 2004
As this is an assignmnet, there has been some referencing done on the story.
Introduction
This story tells of how Jasen, a new graduate of NYP began his work with Garden General Hospital. It was also the institution where he did his clinical posting during his 3 years in the school of Health Sciences. He applies what he has learnt during his school years to touch lives of the patients in need. And this has won him the institution’s most outstanding employee of the year award, for being one of the best care givers chosen from a pool of outstanding staffs in the institution. This is the story of how one of the patient was so touched by his care and concern.
Body
One morning as I walked into the ward, I noticed my client crying. I approached him and ask “Why are you crying, Mr Ong?” “I got no money to pay for my hospital bills. It is getting higher the more days I were to stay here in the hospital.” he said with tears streaming down his already frail and old cheeks.
I decided to sit by the chair next to him. “According to Benner, the “ability to provide presence, to be with another person in a way that acknowledges one’s shared humanity, is at the care of nursing as a practice” (Potter & Perry, p.107).” “Simons says that “when a nurse establishes presence, eye contact, body language, voice tone, listening, and having a positive and encouraging attitude” (Potter & Perry. p107) are important.” I maintained eye contact with him and calmed him down.
I told him not to worry so much as there will always be an end to all problems. Which I felt was very true, with my personal life experiences. For Mr. Ong, I talked to him for the next thirty minutes in a bid to find out more about his current financial status so as to think of what would be the relevant Nursing Care I could provide.
After our long chat session, I realized that he is the sole-bread winner of his household and has just been retrenched during the recent economic crisis. The company which he had worked for 15 over years had decided to merge with a bigger corporation in order to stay competitive, thus he was laid off as part of the restructuring plan.
As I heard his story about his struggle, I quickly analyze what would be the possible solutions to his problem. He was only been admitted to the ward for two days due to back pain. To add to his woes, the teams of doctors are still trying to work out a diagnosis from the lab reports. He was also given painkillers to help him ease the pain, while the medical investigation continues.
From our conversation, I understand that he has two children aged ten and twelve, a wife who stays home to take care of the children. She also works as a seamstress who does alteration at a nearby fabric store, near where they stay, to help support the family.
He does job search in the day, while dispatching newspapers in the wee-hours of the day while most of us are asleep. This is to allow him to earn some income as the compensation by his company won’t last long due to his family’s current condition – especially since he has been hospitalized.
After gathering these essential information, I went to the nursing counter, took the phone directory and search for the Medical Social Welfare (MSW) department. “Effective communicators realize that the goal is to share information, and that this information sharing is typically a two-way street. (Ambler, 2004)” On the phone, I told the officer my client’s – Mr. Ong, condition and asked them if there is a way we could help Mr. Ong in getting any social grants. Since, he is staying in a C Class ward and his children are young and his wife is doing odd jobs to support the family. I could feel the pain he is suffering, though it is not happening to me. Moreover, the stress is too much for a patient to handle with the pain that come his way and the loss of a job.
Moments later, I received a call from Judy, a MSW staff. “Hi Jasen, this is Judy, from MSW, speaking. I understand that you have a client – Mr. Ong, who was admitted two days ago and his diagnosis has yet been confirmed. And he needs some financial assistance for his hospitalization.”
“Yes, that’s right. Alright, could you tell me what the best plan is for Mr. Ong?”
“Ok, we have checked with his previous employer and noted that he was retrenched and they are willing to pay for his medical expenses as he has been a hard working staff. And never took any medical leave, throughout his entire employment years during his stay with the company.”
“I see, so are they keen on re-employing him? Or are they just going to pay his medical expenses as a parting gift?” I asked.
“Hmm, they have decided to re-employ him, however, he will have to take a pay cut of 50%. And his position will still remain the same. Oh, Jasen, I’ll be making a trip over to speak to the client about this.”
A few hours later, Judy came into the ward with all smiles, as she walked towards me. “Hi Jasen, are you ready to bring me to Mr. Ong?”
“Yes, sure. I hope that he’ll be delighted to be re-employed, and hopefully no pain-killers for him.”
We chatted as we moved towards Bed 18 where poor Mr. Ong lay there with a sad looking expression. As he saw us walking towards him with smiles on our faces, his moods brighten up a little. “Smiling is a powerful cue that transmits Happiness, Friendliness, Warmth, Liking & Affiliation. Thus, if you smile frequently you will be perceived as more likable, friendly, warm and approachable. (Ritts & Stein. 2004)”
“Mr. Ong, this is Judy here.” I said. “She will be here to explain to you what we have arranged for you, which we hope you will also like.”
“Ok. I hope you guys have come out with a plan to solve my financial problem which will also reduce my agonizing pain.”
With some confidence, Judy sat down and presented what she has told me earlier on the phone to Mr. Ong. In the beginning, Mr. Ong wasn’t that happy to be re-employed by his old company which had retrenched him. However, the though of a somewhat secure job, made him change his mind and he agreed to return to work after his discharge. Even though it would have meant a 50% cut from his previous pay packet. It still sounded good to him.
Miraculously, his back pain subsided a little. Days later, he was discharged from his back injury due to his bad posture, while delivering newspapers as we later found out to be the cause of his agonizing pain. Before he left the ward on the day of his discharge, he thanked me for what I have done, and told me to send his regards to Judy as well.
Conclusion
From this episode, we can understand that having a therapeutic touch in communication with our client, helps in opening up their narrow world and brings us closer to them in knowing their problems. Having known their problems, it would be easier for us to zoom in and tackle the problem straight away. That also helps us in gaining their trust and being efficient in solving their problems, thus building up patient-nurse confidence.
End Reference
Benner, 1989, Providing Presence in Patricia A. Potter, Anne Griffin Perry, Fundamentals of Nursing (5 th ed.), 2001, p107, Mosby, St. Louis Missouri.
Simons, 1987, Providing Presence in Patricia A. Potter, Anne Griffin Perry, Fundamentals of Nursing (5 th ed.), 2001, p107, Mosby, St. Louis Missouri.
Ambler, Scott W, 2004, Communication : The official Agile Modeling.
Ritts Vicki, ( St. Louis Community College at Florissant Valley), Stein, James R. (Southern Illinois University, Edwardsville) 2004, Reprinted by permission, in Six ways to improve Nonverbal communication.
Introduction
This story tells of how Jasen, a new graduate of NYP began his work with Garden General Hospital. It was also the institution where he did his clinical posting during his 3 years in the school of Health Sciences. He applies what he has learnt during his school years to touch lives of the patients in need. And this has won him the institution’s most outstanding employee of the year award, for being one of the best care givers chosen from a pool of outstanding staffs in the institution. This is the story of how one of the patient was so touched by his care and concern.
Body
One morning as I walked into the ward, I noticed my client crying. I approached him and ask “Why are you crying, Mr Ong?” “I got no money to pay for my hospital bills. It is getting higher the more days I were to stay here in the hospital.” he said with tears streaming down his already frail and old cheeks.
I decided to sit by the chair next to him. “According to Benner, the “ability to provide presence, to be with another person in a way that acknowledges one’s shared humanity, is at the care of nursing as a practice” (Potter & Perry, p.107).” “Simons says that “when a nurse establishes presence, eye contact, body language, voice tone, listening, and having a positive and encouraging attitude” (Potter & Perry. p107) are important.” I maintained eye contact with him and calmed him down.
I told him not to worry so much as there will always be an end to all problems. Which I felt was very true, with my personal life experiences. For Mr. Ong, I talked to him for the next thirty minutes in a bid to find out more about his current financial status so as to think of what would be the relevant Nursing Care I could provide.
After our long chat session, I realized that he is the sole-bread winner of his household and has just been retrenched during the recent economic crisis. The company which he had worked for 15 over years had decided to merge with a bigger corporation in order to stay competitive, thus he was laid off as part of the restructuring plan.
As I heard his story about his struggle, I quickly analyze what would be the possible solutions to his problem. He was only been admitted to the ward for two days due to back pain. To add to his woes, the teams of doctors are still trying to work out a diagnosis from the lab reports. He was also given painkillers to help him ease the pain, while the medical investigation continues.
From our conversation, I understand that he has two children aged ten and twelve, a wife who stays home to take care of the children. She also works as a seamstress who does alteration at a nearby fabric store, near where they stay, to help support the family.
He does job search in the day, while dispatching newspapers in the wee-hours of the day while most of us are asleep. This is to allow him to earn some income as the compensation by his company won’t last long due to his family’s current condition – especially since he has been hospitalized.
After gathering these essential information, I went to the nursing counter, took the phone directory and search for the Medical Social Welfare (MSW) department. “Effective communicators realize that the goal is to share information, and that this information sharing is typically a two-way street. (Ambler, 2004)” On the phone, I told the officer my client’s – Mr. Ong, condition and asked them if there is a way we could help Mr. Ong in getting any social grants. Since, he is staying in a C Class ward and his children are young and his wife is doing odd jobs to support the family. I could feel the pain he is suffering, though it is not happening to me. Moreover, the stress is too much for a patient to handle with the pain that come his way and the loss of a job.
Moments later, I received a call from Judy, a MSW staff. “Hi Jasen, this is Judy, from MSW, speaking. I understand that you have a client – Mr. Ong, who was admitted two days ago and his diagnosis has yet been confirmed. And he needs some financial assistance for his hospitalization.”
“Yes, that’s right. Alright, could you tell me what the best plan is for Mr. Ong?”
“Ok, we have checked with his previous employer and noted that he was retrenched and they are willing to pay for his medical expenses as he has been a hard working staff. And never took any medical leave, throughout his entire employment years during his stay with the company.”
“I see, so are they keen on re-employing him? Or are they just going to pay his medical expenses as a parting gift?” I asked.
“Hmm, they have decided to re-employ him, however, he will have to take a pay cut of 50%. And his position will still remain the same. Oh, Jasen, I’ll be making a trip over to speak to the client about this.”
A few hours later, Judy came into the ward with all smiles, as she walked towards me. “Hi Jasen, are you ready to bring me to Mr. Ong?”
“Yes, sure. I hope that he’ll be delighted to be re-employed, and hopefully no pain-killers for him.”
We chatted as we moved towards Bed 18 where poor Mr. Ong lay there with a sad looking expression. As he saw us walking towards him with smiles on our faces, his moods brighten up a little. “Smiling is a powerful cue that transmits Happiness, Friendliness, Warmth, Liking & Affiliation. Thus, if you smile frequently you will be perceived as more likable, friendly, warm and approachable. (Ritts & Stein. 2004)”
“Mr. Ong, this is Judy here.” I said. “She will be here to explain to you what we have arranged for you, which we hope you will also like.”
“Ok. I hope you guys have come out with a plan to solve my financial problem which will also reduce my agonizing pain.”
With some confidence, Judy sat down and presented what she has told me earlier on the phone to Mr. Ong. In the beginning, Mr. Ong wasn’t that happy to be re-employed by his old company which had retrenched him. However, the though of a somewhat secure job, made him change his mind and he agreed to return to work after his discharge. Even though it would have meant a 50% cut from his previous pay packet. It still sounded good to him.
Miraculously, his back pain subsided a little. Days later, he was discharged from his back injury due to his bad posture, while delivering newspapers as we later found out to be the cause of his agonizing pain. Before he left the ward on the day of his discharge, he thanked me for what I have done, and told me to send his regards to Judy as well.
Conclusion
From this episode, we can understand that having a therapeutic touch in communication with our client, helps in opening up their narrow world and brings us closer to them in knowing their problems. Having known their problems, it would be easier for us to zoom in and tackle the problem straight away. That also helps us in gaining their trust and being efficient in solving their problems, thus building up patient-nurse confidence.
End Reference
Benner, 1989, Providing Presence in Patricia A. Potter, Anne Griffin Perry, Fundamentals of Nursing (5 th ed.), 2001, p107, Mosby, St. Louis Missouri.
Simons, 1987, Providing Presence in Patricia A. Potter, Anne Griffin Perry, Fundamentals of Nursing (5 th ed.), 2001, p107, Mosby, St. Louis Missouri.
Ambler, Scott W, 2004, Communication : The official Agile Modeling.
Ritts Vicki, ( St. Louis Community College at Florissant Valley), Stein, James R. (Southern Illinois University, Edwardsville) 2004, Reprinted by permission, in Six ways to improve Nonverbal communication.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
memory lane :: July 15 - 21, 2004
Disclaimer: All characters whether dead or alive has no relation to the story.
To all whom I know at Bishan institute.
6.00am
Today’s my last time waking up so early in the morning to travel to Bishan for my education at the post-secondary level.
I will be making a trip down to a tertiary institute to do my enrolment. Though I feel a sense of lost at thoughts, what can I do? I can’t possibly turn this offer down, can I? It wouldn’t be a wise choice to do that since gaining a chance to study in a tertiary institution is not easy especially since you have got only the minimum requirements. I felt that chances are hard to come by and once missed, they are gone forever.
Just as I reach the station platform, the train arrived just in time for me to join in the morning birds heading for school and work. It is the first day of the week – as many would call it the ‘Monday blues’, where everyone would be lazy – most of us, would prefer to stay home for an extended holiday of some sort.
Having managed to get into the packed train, I quickly found a spot to settle myself down comfortably. With that, my mind took a complete spin off into sub-conscious mode.
My past came into view, from the days I was an infant to the day I started to grow and gain understanding… till the day I am growing up to become what I am today – on my way to adulthood.
How I really wish I can use a time turner to go back in time to perform what I really want to do. However, that was not to be, we don’t live in the times of the magical world created by J.K. Rowling. Neither do we live in the world of Agatha Christie, where she had disappeared just like one of her characters in a story.
These days, we live in an ever changing world where everyone and everything changes. Nothing remains in this world. We will die someday, somehow. It would be good to cherish what we have and live every minute of our lives in this world to the fullest. No one knows when and where they will die. Nor do we know when there will be anyone there to see us off when we visit never land.
Though we are born into this world with nothing, we should also leave this world with no worries. There will always be worries, they just pile up over time for you to resolve them with or without any help.
As these thoughts went by, my mind started to churn out weirder thoughts. The thought of living this world with no worries, about saving lives of those unfortunate, as well as those whom you love.
I can still recall about a year ago, I got my ‘O’ levels result and was eligible for most of the courses offered by the various institutions in Singapore. When I was making my choices, my life took a turn. I had really no idea as to what course I had exactly wanted to study.
Then slowly, came the thought of taking up Nursing. My cousin is a Nurse, and given my background knowledge and passion to save people, it wouldn’t be a problem to take up Nursing.
However, when I had went for the Open House of the institution offering the course. I took a deeper consideration about taking the plunge which could be deadly in the event that I am not prepared to do my best.
I had my worries and fears about not making the mark in achieving my goals. Given since young I had setbacks in my performance, which led me to be a little fickle minded in understanding what I wanted in life.
Moreover, after months of learning in school, I started to see setbacks. It wasn’t easy at first to come to terms with myself that this is what I really want – to work in an IT Firm in the near future – when the IT industry is taking a slow move, which could turn to a complete stop. I endured on for the next few months, did above average for my term test, and, flung my written exams. I passed by supp papers, except Math. Enjoyed my holidays and here I am, finally noticing that my future is in bleak darkness, decided to take the road not taken at the previous turn by turning back on this path.
To take a turn back on the path was not easy. With the strong turbulences and going against all odds made it all the more a difficult task to deal. Without much success, I was not able to return back to safety. My application was being rejected more than once – thrice to be exact. My mind began to awoke from the pitch darkness realizing that what has been done is undone able.
Having given up, I decided to apply for a place in a post secondary institute. To the same course – Nursing. My application was as a late applicant, it wasn’t easy to get in either.
Many calls were made to get to the relevant officials and etc to speak to them and I got a place at the end. Went there for the interview in my day’s best after I got the call that I have been admitted days after. The rest were history, there after I got into the institution and made many new friends with my new-found classmates.
I was studying in that school for two days - just two days and hell broke loose thereafter. I received a call after class from the institution. They had decided to give me a place there. Was it a good sign? I wondered, after all time will tell before long. I went down to collect the enrolment package and was delighted to know that I have been offered a place and all I had to do was pay the school fees as well as pass the medical exam.
Just as I woke, I realized I have reached City Hall station. Time to alight and transfer to the North bound train. I hope that life will be better with a change in environment and I won’t fail my exams again!
Written: July 15th, 2004 – July 21st, 2004
To all whom I know at Bishan institute.
6.00am
Today’s my last time waking up so early in the morning to travel to Bishan for my education at the post-secondary level.
I will be making a trip down to a tertiary institute to do my enrolment. Though I feel a sense of lost at thoughts, what can I do? I can’t possibly turn this offer down, can I? It wouldn’t be a wise choice to do that since gaining a chance to study in a tertiary institution is not easy especially since you have got only the minimum requirements. I felt that chances are hard to come by and once missed, they are gone forever.
Just as I reach the station platform, the train arrived just in time for me to join in the morning birds heading for school and work. It is the first day of the week – as many would call it the ‘Monday blues’, where everyone would be lazy – most of us, would prefer to stay home for an extended holiday of some sort.
Having managed to get into the packed train, I quickly found a spot to settle myself down comfortably. With that, my mind took a complete spin off into sub-conscious mode.
My past came into view, from the days I was an infant to the day I started to grow and gain understanding… till the day I am growing up to become what I am today – on my way to adulthood.
How I really wish I can use a time turner to go back in time to perform what I really want to do. However, that was not to be, we don’t live in the times of the magical world created by J.K. Rowling. Neither do we live in the world of Agatha Christie, where she had disappeared just like one of her characters in a story.
These days, we live in an ever changing world where everyone and everything changes. Nothing remains in this world. We will die someday, somehow. It would be good to cherish what we have and live every minute of our lives in this world to the fullest. No one knows when and where they will die. Nor do we know when there will be anyone there to see us off when we visit never land.
Though we are born into this world with nothing, we should also leave this world with no worries. There will always be worries, they just pile up over time for you to resolve them with or without any help.
As these thoughts went by, my mind started to churn out weirder thoughts. The thought of living this world with no worries, about saving lives of those unfortunate, as well as those whom you love.
I can still recall about a year ago, I got my ‘O’ levels result and was eligible for most of the courses offered by the various institutions in Singapore. When I was making my choices, my life took a turn. I had really no idea as to what course I had exactly wanted to study.
Then slowly, came the thought of taking up Nursing. My cousin is a Nurse, and given my background knowledge and passion to save people, it wouldn’t be a problem to take up Nursing.
However, when I had went for the Open House of the institution offering the course. I took a deeper consideration about taking the plunge which could be deadly in the event that I am not prepared to do my best.
I had my worries and fears about not making the mark in achieving my goals. Given since young I had setbacks in my performance, which led me to be a little fickle minded in understanding what I wanted in life.
Moreover, after months of learning in school, I started to see setbacks. It wasn’t easy at first to come to terms with myself that this is what I really want – to work in an IT Firm in the near future – when the IT industry is taking a slow move, which could turn to a complete stop. I endured on for the next few months, did above average for my term test, and, flung my written exams. I passed by supp papers, except Math. Enjoyed my holidays and here I am, finally noticing that my future is in bleak darkness, decided to take the road not taken at the previous turn by turning back on this path.
To take a turn back on the path was not easy. With the strong turbulences and going against all odds made it all the more a difficult task to deal. Without much success, I was not able to return back to safety. My application was being rejected more than once – thrice to be exact. My mind began to awoke from the pitch darkness realizing that what has been done is undone able.
Having given up, I decided to apply for a place in a post secondary institute. To the same course – Nursing. My application was as a late applicant, it wasn’t easy to get in either.
Many calls were made to get to the relevant officials and etc to speak to them and I got a place at the end. Went there for the interview in my day’s best after I got the call that I have been admitted days after. The rest were history, there after I got into the institution and made many new friends with my new-found classmates.
I was studying in that school for two days - just two days and hell broke loose thereafter. I received a call after class from the institution. They had decided to give me a place there. Was it a good sign? I wondered, after all time will tell before long. I went down to collect the enrolment package and was delighted to know that I have been offered a place and all I had to do was pay the school fees as well as pass the medical exam.
Just as I woke, I realized I have reached City Hall station. Time to alight and transfer to the North bound train. I hope that life will be better with a change in environment and I won’t fail my exams again!
Written: July 15th, 2004 – July 21st, 2004
Friday, March 05, 2004
thousand miles : March 5, 2004
Disclaimer: All characters featured in this story are fictional and have no inclination to real life characters or events.
Chapter 1 – Life…
School, work, sleep. Why? All the fuss? Exams, assignments and friends? Do I need them? Well, the answer is I do not know. I live in a world of fast changing mode. Everything here requires one to work fast and on his feet. How I wish that would not be the case. That life is much more relaxing and nothing to fuss about. I am on a train heading for the city. My mind is full of unopened doors. I don’t know what I want in life.
Can I skip school? Get a couple of thousand from my parents and go on a holiday never to come back again. How I wish for that. Settle down in an unknown land and start afresh. Life is not this way either. So how is life for me at present? I live in an apartment, with my parents, grandmother and a younger brother.
Life is easy going for me, school on weekdays and work on weekends. For my mother, she goes out and works as a seamstress everyday. My father works for a mobile firm, while my younger brother goes to school and tuition classes almost everyday. The only person who has a much way easier life than I do is my grandmother. She does not have to work, she just stays home most of the time watching tv, eat, sleep. During the day, she is seldom spotted at home. So no ones at home then.
Thinking my life is easy going, yes it really is. School for me is slacking time. I don’t work hard. Everyday I will be at home playing games, otherwise out shopping. Doing nothing at all at times, skipping classes is a norm for me. If I ever get spotted in school, it will be a mere 2 to 4 hours of lessons.
As I no longer enjoy life in school, I tend to avoid going to school. It is no doubt hindering my learning, however I study at home. My most enjoyable lessons will be when I attend lab sessions. Other than that, I will be slacking at home. Only at night, will I be at my desk working.
Chapter 2 – My Friend
I often feel left out in class, there is this student I know who would always be shouting out answers for every question the teacher asks. I feel very sickened by his attitude. That has caused me to hate school even more. I really wonder how the teachers felt when such events happened. It just does not seem right that such events should occur. I was jealous, very jealous of him knowing the answers and being over enthusiastic at it. How I wish I can tolerate his behavior and challenge him. However, I feel inferior over him, He is too proud from his looks and felt that I should keep myself low while showing my true self only at a later stage.
On weekends, I work at a home interiors store that sells home furnishings, fabrics and craft materials. I know of a friend there, she is older than me by quite a few years. I know her when I joined the store as a part-time staff two years back. I came to know her only after I insulted her once. Thereafter, we became friends over time. We were not very good friends. However, as time went by, I came to know her better. She is a sporting person who frequents the gym at least three times a week.
As school started a year ago for me, I only work on weekends and seldom get to see her. This chance was very slim; at most it would be once a fortnight or never. Though I miss her, I also slowly developed a love for her. More recently, I had this idea of telling her I love her. I could feel the same effect of my past hitting hard on my shoulders.
I had once also developed a love for my older cousin. I could remember saying to myself, when I was in primary school that one day I will marry my cousin. As time gone by, this thought slowly diminished. This thought surfaced once more four years ago when she started dating her first boyfriend. Now she is into her third boyfriend. Whenever, I see them together I will feel very uneasy. Somehow, this feeling surfaces every now and then. Now it is somehow under control and is slowly dissolving.
Every alternate weekend, when I see her, I will ask her out for lunch together. As time went by, this feeling of love grew stronger and stronger. How I wish she is my age and I can date her. However, this thought of dating her has never crossed the line. At least it is under wraps, not revealed at all. And I hope it will not be revealed for good. I foresee bad omens if it ever comes to light.
Will I ever confess, I doubt. Will I live a happy life and get out of my nightmares, I know it neither. What are my choices, is a mystery of its own. Whatever that beholds this door’s key will get unlocked, someday somehow someway…
Just then, I heard the train announcement system announce “City Hall”. It is time for me to alight. I stood up from my seat and head for the exit to the platform.
I move up the escalator while my thoughts sink back into my brain cells to be forgotten.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a thought, feeling low and slacking, I wrote this short story out of wacky ideas with funny feelings about myself falling in love… Definitely an illusion.
Written: 5 Mar 2004
Area: Fast Food Joint at Wisma Atria, Orchard Road, Singapore.
Chapter 1 – Life…
School, work, sleep. Why? All the fuss? Exams, assignments and friends? Do I need them? Well, the answer is I do not know. I live in a world of fast changing mode. Everything here requires one to work fast and on his feet. How I wish that would not be the case. That life is much more relaxing and nothing to fuss about. I am on a train heading for the city. My mind is full of unopened doors. I don’t know what I want in life.
Can I skip school? Get a couple of thousand from my parents and go on a holiday never to come back again. How I wish for that. Settle down in an unknown land and start afresh. Life is not this way either. So how is life for me at present? I live in an apartment, with my parents, grandmother and a younger brother.
Life is easy going for me, school on weekdays and work on weekends. For my mother, she goes out and works as a seamstress everyday. My father works for a mobile firm, while my younger brother goes to school and tuition classes almost everyday. The only person who has a much way easier life than I do is my grandmother. She does not have to work, she just stays home most of the time watching tv, eat, sleep. During the day, she is seldom spotted at home. So no ones at home then.
Thinking my life is easy going, yes it really is. School for me is slacking time. I don’t work hard. Everyday I will be at home playing games, otherwise out shopping. Doing nothing at all at times, skipping classes is a norm for me. If I ever get spotted in school, it will be a mere 2 to 4 hours of lessons.
As I no longer enjoy life in school, I tend to avoid going to school. It is no doubt hindering my learning, however I study at home. My most enjoyable lessons will be when I attend lab sessions. Other than that, I will be slacking at home. Only at night, will I be at my desk working.
Chapter 2 – My Friend
I often feel left out in class, there is this student I know who would always be shouting out answers for every question the teacher asks. I feel very sickened by his attitude. That has caused me to hate school even more. I really wonder how the teachers felt when such events happened. It just does not seem right that such events should occur. I was jealous, very jealous of him knowing the answers and being over enthusiastic at it. How I wish I can tolerate his behavior and challenge him. However, I feel inferior over him, He is too proud from his looks and felt that I should keep myself low while showing my true self only at a later stage.
On weekends, I work at a home interiors store that sells home furnishings, fabrics and craft materials. I know of a friend there, she is older than me by quite a few years. I know her when I joined the store as a part-time staff two years back. I came to know her only after I insulted her once. Thereafter, we became friends over time. We were not very good friends. However, as time went by, I came to know her better. She is a sporting person who frequents the gym at least three times a week.
As school started a year ago for me, I only work on weekends and seldom get to see her. This chance was very slim; at most it would be once a fortnight or never. Though I miss her, I also slowly developed a love for her. More recently, I had this idea of telling her I love her. I could feel the same effect of my past hitting hard on my shoulders.
I had once also developed a love for my older cousin. I could remember saying to myself, when I was in primary school that one day I will marry my cousin. As time gone by, this thought slowly diminished. This thought surfaced once more four years ago when she started dating her first boyfriend. Now she is into her third boyfriend. Whenever, I see them together I will feel very uneasy. Somehow, this feeling surfaces every now and then. Now it is somehow under control and is slowly dissolving.
Every alternate weekend, when I see her, I will ask her out for lunch together. As time went by, this feeling of love grew stronger and stronger. How I wish she is my age and I can date her. However, this thought of dating her has never crossed the line. At least it is under wraps, not revealed at all. And I hope it will not be revealed for good. I foresee bad omens if it ever comes to light.
Will I ever confess, I doubt. Will I live a happy life and get out of my nightmares, I know it neither. What are my choices, is a mystery of its own. Whatever that beholds this door’s key will get unlocked, someday somehow someway…
Just then, I heard the train announcement system announce “City Hall”. It is time for me to alight. I stood up from my seat and head for the exit to the platform.
I move up the escalator while my thoughts sink back into my brain cells to be forgotten.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a thought, feeling low and slacking, I wrote this short story out of wacky ideas with funny feelings about myself falling in love… Definitely an illusion.
Written: 5 Mar 2004
Area: Fast Food Joint at Wisma Atria, Orchard Road, Singapore.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
the roaming world :: Jan 17 - Feb 18, 2004
Disclaimer: All character whether dead or alive is in no relation to the story.
Foreword
This is a story about a guy who fell in love with someone so near yet so far… In a hospital ward… after he was warded suffering from an injury during his daily sports…
Chapter 1 – The Accident
The accident has caused a big impact on my life… Ever since the day I stepped into the hospital ward as a patient, my life has gotten a drastic change. I came to know this young woman by the name of Joan. She is a student pursuing a Diploma in Nursing at Nanyang Polytechnic.
She is a Student Nurse doing clinical practice in the Ward I was staying. I came to know her when she administered my admission in the ward. I was happy to know such a nice nurse about my age. We were both 18 years old, as recall. We were coincidentally in the same school. However, we do not get to meet at all. I am not like my fellow guy friends who love to go around babe watching over at the Health Science School. As always, I would be sitting alone during lunchtime in the food court having lunch by myself. However, I love the idea of being alone… It helps me in thinking up good project ideas.
That was before I came to know her. Ever day, after school I would go straight home. I live in the east and would require a lot of time to be spend on traveling. During these hours, they would be spent on thinking up ideas or working on my cross-stitch pieces, while listening to the CD player. I would often invite stares from commuters who were stunned to see a guy actually doing cross stitch… However, that stare would not last long. Just a few minutes and it would be back to normal. It was a way for me to train my concentration and my patience in working on something relatively slowly since I am not that apt in doing cross-stitches.
Once I reach home, I will put down my bag; change into my running or swimming gear and get set for my sports activities, alternating between running and swimming. Cycling would go well only when I have the mood to cycle around the neighborhood.
After I am done with my sports I will be back home for dinner and then its time for revision. I would usually take about 2hours everyday for revision and preparation for tutorial classes.
I seldom skip lessons, as I doubt the need to do so since I am really leaving very far from school.
In late January while I was doing my weekly jogging, I suddenly slid and fell. Pain was hitting down hard on my lower left leg… What am I to do? I asked myself, as I could not even get up with that biting pain… At that time, there were not many joggers around. I tried after several attempts to be myself up with the use of a wooden branch I found which perhaps could support my weight. I limped all the way with some blood, bruise on both leg, and walked myself home.
Upon reaching home, I cleansed and bandaged my wound – I was a first aider back in secondary school, before seeking further medical help as I was just too tired to do so. Being complacent ended me in the hospital hours later; after I ate my dinner then I slowly stroll with the help of my mother to the nearby clinic to have a check up done by the doctor.
The doctor did some examination and I got a scolding by him for moving too much and not knowing that I have a little fracture on my left lower bone. It was not bad, just a small little crack that has caused quite a lot of pain. He got me admitted into the hospital immediately.
Chapter 2 – Love on Valentines?
I was warded on 7 February, the day I injured myself during my daily sports routine.
As I lie on the bed of the ward, I could not sleep. I miss my computer and my cross-stitches. I wish I had them with me now so that I can continue with it as a way to defocus from my lower leg that is giving me all the pain and bad feeling.
I was feeling regretful also from not getting a good warm up before I began jogging… I did not stretch my legs well. While jogging, my eyes were not fully focused while jogging as I was looking around for birds and maybe joggers like me.
Ha, after jogging into the fifth round around the 500m long track, before I fell. Thought it was not serious and it ended up the other way round. How bad can a day be? I asked myself. Think I should just try to recuperate back to normal while I spend sometime in the hospital thinking about what I need to do when I return to school. There will surely be lots of reading up to be done.
With that in mind, I decided to get my brother to bring all my notes to the hospital ward so that I could do my revision while recuperating, the following day. However, I could only use my afternoons to do revision since then morning is chaotic to me. I can see doctors and nurses busy moving from place to place surveying the patients and assisting them in getting better.
My appetite got better as I progressed each day, and soon a week was gone. It is nearing Valentines Day. How I wish I could find a girl I like. As, I was thinking about how to celebrate my valentines if I were to be staying in the hospital or at home. Then, after a few winks of the brain, I saw a young nurse – I suppose a student nurse, coming by. I came to realize it was time for medication. I took the tablets from her and smiled at her. She smiled back sweetly. Then, I was at point-blank – what has struck me? Oh no, could it not be that this nurse is the same nurse who administered me for my admission that evening? Seems like it, then I blurted out “thank you!”.
As she moves on to help other patients with the medicine dosages, I decided to probe myself into observing her even more. She spawns shoulder length straight hair, nice tint, has a very nice slim shape and a nice personality with average looks and tan. She seems to be like the kind of girl I like.
From that day I started spotting her presence, I got the feeling that I have started to fall in love in a white angel! Whoa, a white angel – I began calling her Jo-Jo. Her name is Joan Huang, a nice girl. When she is assisting me, I will have to chance to chat with her for a while and there she has to go back to her duties. And when she is working the morning shift, she will usually go over to my bed side to talk to me. From the way she treats the patients, I can sense her keenness in helping those people in need. I really love her for her personality more than anything else does.
As Valentines Day drew nearer, I decided to take up the courage to get her some roses. On the second last day to Valentines Day, I sneaked down to the floral shop at the lobby area to place an order for nine blue roses – her favorite color is blue. I was lucky not to get caught.
The day after, I was finally given the green light to move around. However, I could not be discharged, still need to stay in the ward for another week. On that day when I spotted her, I called her over to my bed and ask if she could spare me some time the following day. She surprised me with a yes. This means she is going to be on duty and that she is not attached.
Armed with a sense of accomplishment, I could not bring myself to sleep that night. The following day came; we met after her work in the ward. Decided to bring her down to the Japanese Koi pond area within the wards building. We sat by the pond with my bouquet of nine roses by the pond side. She was holding to them the moment I gave them to her when I saw her that morning. It is now in the afternoon. We talked and laugh about things that happen to us over our past 18 years. At a certain point in our conversation, I asked her:”Hey Jo! I have a crush on you, since the day we met. Hope that you love the blue roses too!”
“Uh …“blushed, she stopped with her jaws left open as she ran through her mind to think of constructive sentences to say. However, it was a love at first sight, I observed her for a long period before making the first move.
After about five minutes, she replied “Hey Jasen, erm, ok, shall we make this our first date? Since we are beginners and we kind of click why not just give it a go at the relationship?”
Feeling a little shocked by her calm replies, I thought for a while too. “Alright, it’s a good idea. I doubt there are many couples who will have first dates in the hospital”. As I said that, both of us started to laugh.
At the pond, we chatted non stop for about an hour before I feel that I may have to go back to the ward before Sister1 Carlen starts looking for me. She is a very nice and gentle Nurse; think she is quite old too.
She brought me back to the ward, and there I saw Sister sitting there at the cubicle talking with one of the patients. As we step in, she looked up and saw us holding hands. The look on her face was not pleasant. Well, what could we do? Nothing, we just did what we had to do a hug and a kiss. Then I bid her good bye before she left.
Sister came over to me and asked me what I was up to with her girls. I just told her the truth about liking her and what are my plans after I go back to school. Was deciding on spending more time with her so am considering nursing too. However, what inspired me to go into this once hated by myself course was that I like the way the nurses care for patients and it was something I came to liked during my stay. I had also done a soul searching before I came to a final decision about making this great leap.
Upon returning to a week later, we continue meeting one another in school for lunch. We stayed near one another – just a few train stations away in the east. Every day, we get to see one another home too. Upon knowing that I also do cross-stitches, she dared me to do cross-stitches during our long hour breaks. We also spend hours on it every Sunday and sometimes instead of doing cross – stitch we will go for sports like swimming and cycling. On Saturdays, we will hang out at her home doing revision. Her parents did not notice anything not right. They were usually out on Saturdays on cruise while she chose to stay home to do her revision. Therefore, I had the honor of keeping her by my side.
As the term test neared, on weekends, we will be at my place as I asked her to stay overnight at my place so that we could study until late at night. While doing that, I secretly went to ask the school for a transfer of diploma. I was told to submit an application form, which the application will be processed after the semester exams.
Therefore, with that done I was all set to study doubly hard and try to score distinctions too. Our time together did not shorten; we were even closer during the exam period. Though we had took different diplomas, we stuck together and I stayed overnight at her place during the exam period for keeping her accompanied. I kept the idea tight lip sealed from her. It was hard to keep it tight sealed as keep secrets has always not been easy for me – especially personal secrets... those decision types.
When the term test was over, we took sometime off to spend together for fun and games. We went to Sentosa for 2days overnight stay at a chalet. The expenses were bore by her parents as a way to encourage her in her studies.
After the one-week long break, we were back in school. The war to the end of the semester began; it was a tough fight for me having many assignments. She on the other hand had lots of clinical practice coming up during the long holidays, however before that; they have many personal assignments to complete. Therefore, we decided the only time too really sit down to chat would only be during the weekends.
We ended up using the weekends for chatting instead of revision – with daily revision and assignments to keep us busy there is no other reason to say that we are not to do other things apart from studies.
Chapter 3 – New Life
Everything was going fine right up to the semester exams. During the exam week, we did not have time to meet or even camp at one another’s home. We were too busy to do so.
With that, we got through our semester exam. After the exams, the results were released 3 weeks later. Both of us scored distinctions and we were very happy. We celebrated the occasion with dinner at Snoopy Place in Plaza Singapura.
With her vacation hospital attachment, I kept myself busy with training and picking her up after work to go shopping and dinner. This went on for 2 months, one month for her attachment, the other we did sports together.
Finally, a week before the new semester is about to begin… I received the letter of enrolment. I showed her the letter. She was shocked at first. However, she decided to scold me for keeping her in the dark. However, she was in joy that I wanted to join nursing. Moreover, she was keen on knowing what had got me so interested in this course? I gave her the same reasons I have told Sister before. She understood what I said and I gave my apology for keeping her in the dark. While telling her, I wanted to give her a surprise as a birthday gift.
With just one more week to go before the commencement of school, we decided to use this time to better prepare ourselves with our knowledge of what is to come in the new semester. So she suggested that she will tutor me on what she was taught in the previous semester. While I will teach her some IT skills just in case she may need them for her projects.
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School reopened, in July. We were back in school. This time I started as a Year 1 Nursing student while she is a Year 2 Nursing student. We got closer together and were like magnets. However we know our limits, and never gone too far off.
Life was a brisk, with time spend on revision and sports everyday. We were literally living together – I would usually camp over night at her place like before.
We will do our revision together and during my vacation hospital attachment, I got to work together with her throughout my year 1 attachment during the vacation. However, as we were both devoted to rendering care to the patients, we seldom talk during attachment hours.
We enjoyed one another’s company and had a great time. Life was not lasting though…
Chapter 4 – Reflection
At the end of her Year 2 and my Year1, she told me a sad piece of news. Her parents have decided that they would like her to go aboard to continue her studies half way off from her current diploma. They felt that a foreign environment will aid her in completing her degree faster. And less stressful for her. She had no choice but to agree to their plans. In addition, she decided that we should maybe just keep in touch. Our love may have been long – about 1 and a half years, was a very meaningful one to both of us. It has left a deep impact on us, until then it was the last time I met her. I have decided not to contact her after that. I told her that maybe we could just end our relationship here, she will continue with her studies there while I complete mine here.
To help in not breaking our hearts further, I made a painful decision not to send her off. When my parents asked me why Joan is no longer coming over to our house on alternate weekends, I broke the news that we are no longer together. She has left for Australia and that I have no regrets knowing her at all. I love her deep in my heart, but was willing to let her go. I believe that we have gone thus far and if we are fated to meet, again we shall and will.
Life continued as usual during my 2-month long vacation – with 1 month of attachment and my constant training in sports.
1-month later…
Do I miss her? I asked myself while I was jogging along the same path that I fell down 2 over years ago… Though I used to frequent the tracks, I hardly bother with my memories. My steps slowed down…
Jogged on for a bit more and decided to rest against a rain tree nearby. There I began to really have flash backs of my past, from the day I know her to the day she left me. I have many fond memories I treasured during the times we were together. They were unforgettable. As I have been holding on to her and treating her nice, I feel that letting go was as easy as ever… having been loved and given the loved, it is always nice to let it go when it has to go…
I closed my eyes and began to sink in deeper into my thoughts. Suddenly, I can feel someone patting on my shoulders. “Who was that?” I asked.
“who else?” came this familiar voice. As I looked up, I saw her… What was she doing here, I asked myself… Am I dreaming or am I seeing her standing in front of me in real life?
Things were unclear… Suddenly I fainted…
Thoughts
Hey!
Thanks for your interest in reading this slightly lengthy story, spanning six chapters, about 8 pages long, one of my longest I think. Hopes it is not too crappy, love this story very much as I wrote it. Along the way, I have to try to think of the plots, relevance and the events taking place with the time settings. It is not always easy writing stories; it is the fun that counts. To those out there who would like to do story writing, read novels. Get inspirations and start writing your own world.
That is about all I would say, hope that you enjoy... Till the next story!
Jasen
Written: 17 Jan 04 – 18 Feb 04
_________________________
1 Sister – Staff nurse of the ward.
Foreword
This is a story about a guy who fell in love with someone so near yet so far… In a hospital ward… after he was warded suffering from an injury during his daily sports…
Chapter 1 – The Accident
The accident has caused a big impact on my life… Ever since the day I stepped into the hospital ward as a patient, my life has gotten a drastic change. I came to know this young woman by the name of Joan. She is a student pursuing a Diploma in Nursing at Nanyang Polytechnic.
She is a Student Nurse doing clinical practice in the Ward I was staying. I came to know her when she administered my admission in the ward. I was happy to know such a nice nurse about my age. We were both 18 years old, as recall. We were coincidentally in the same school. However, we do not get to meet at all. I am not like my fellow guy friends who love to go around babe watching over at the Health Science School. As always, I would be sitting alone during lunchtime in the food court having lunch by myself. However, I love the idea of being alone… It helps me in thinking up good project ideas.
That was before I came to know her. Ever day, after school I would go straight home. I live in the east and would require a lot of time to be spend on traveling. During these hours, they would be spent on thinking up ideas or working on my cross-stitch pieces, while listening to the CD player. I would often invite stares from commuters who were stunned to see a guy actually doing cross stitch… However, that stare would not last long. Just a few minutes and it would be back to normal. It was a way for me to train my concentration and my patience in working on something relatively slowly since I am not that apt in doing cross-stitches.
Once I reach home, I will put down my bag; change into my running or swimming gear and get set for my sports activities, alternating between running and swimming. Cycling would go well only when I have the mood to cycle around the neighborhood.
After I am done with my sports I will be back home for dinner and then its time for revision. I would usually take about 2hours everyday for revision and preparation for tutorial classes.
I seldom skip lessons, as I doubt the need to do so since I am really leaving very far from school.
In late January while I was doing my weekly jogging, I suddenly slid and fell. Pain was hitting down hard on my lower left leg… What am I to do? I asked myself, as I could not even get up with that biting pain… At that time, there were not many joggers around. I tried after several attempts to be myself up with the use of a wooden branch I found which perhaps could support my weight. I limped all the way with some blood, bruise on both leg, and walked myself home.
Upon reaching home, I cleansed and bandaged my wound – I was a first aider back in secondary school, before seeking further medical help as I was just too tired to do so. Being complacent ended me in the hospital hours later; after I ate my dinner then I slowly stroll with the help of my mother to the nearby clinic to have a check up done by the doctor.
The doctor did some examination and I got a scolding by him for moving too much and not knowing that I have a little fracture on my left lower bone. It was not bad, just a small little crack that has caused quite a lot of pain. He got me admitted into the hospital immediately.
Chapter 2 – Love on Valentines?
I was warded on 7 February, the day I injured myself during my daily sports routine.
As I lie on the bed of the ward, I could not sleep. I miss my computer and my cross-stitches. I wish I had them with me now so that I can continue with it as a way to defocus from my lower leg that is giving me all the pain and bad feeling.
I was feeling regretful also from not getting a good warm up before I began jogging… I did not stretch my legs well. While jogging, my eyes were not fully focused while jogging as I was looking around for birds and maybe joggers like me.
Ha, after jogging into the fifth round around the 500m long track, before I fell. Thought it was not serious and it ended up the other way round. How bad can a day be? I asked myself. Think I should just try to recuperate back to normal while I spend sometime in the hospital thinking about what I need to do when I return to school. There will surely be lots of reading up to be done.
With that in mind, I decided to get my brother to bring all my notes to the hospital ward so that I could do my revision while recuperating, the following day. However, I could only use my afternoons to do revision since then morning is chaotic to me. I can see doctors and nurses busy moving from place to place surveying the patients and assisting them in getting better.
My appetite got better as I progressed each day, and soon a week was gone. It is nearing Valentines Day. How I wish I could find a girl I like. As, I was thinking about how to celebrate my valentines if I were to be staying in the hospital or at home. Then, after a few winks of the brain, I saw a young nurse – I suppose a student nurse, coming by. I came to realize it was time for medication. I took the tablets from her and smiled at her. She smiled back sweetly. Then, I was at point-blank – what has struck me? Oh no, could it not be that this nurse is the same nurse who administered me for my admission that evening? Seems like it, then I blurted out “thank you!”.
As she moves on to help other patients with the medicine dosages, I decided to probe myself into observing her even more. She spawns shoulder length straight hair, nice tint, has a very nice slim shape and a nice personality with average looks and tan. She seems to be like the kind of girl I like.
From that day I started spotting her presence, I got the feeling that I have started to fall in love in a white angel! Whoa, a white angel – I began calling her Jo-Jo. Her name is Joan Huang, a nice girl. When she is assisting me, I will have to chance to chat with her for a while and there she has to go back to her duties. And when she is working the morning shift, she will usually go over to my bed side to talk to me. From the way she treats the patients, I can sense her keenness in helping those people in need. I really love her for her personality more than anything else does.
As Valentines Day drew nearer, I decided to take up the courage to get her some roses. On the second last day to Valentines Day, I sneaked down to the floral shop at the lobby area to place an order for nine blue roses – her favorite color is blue. I was lucky not to get caught.
The day after, I was finally given the green light to move around. However, I could not be discharged, still need to stay in the ward for another week. On that day when I spotted her, I called her over to my bed and ask if she could spare me some time the following day. She surprised me with a yes. This means she is going to be on duty and that she is not attached.
Armed with a sense of accomplishment, I could not bring myself to sleep that night. The following day came; we met after her work in the ward. Decided to bring her down to the Japanese Koi pond area within the wards building. We sat by the pond with my bouquet of nine roses by the pond side. She was holding to them the moment I gave them to her when I saw her that morning. It is now in the afternoon. We talked and laugh about things that happen to us over our past 18 years. At a certain point in our conversation, I asked her:”Hey Jo! I have a crush on you, since the day we met. Hope that you love the blue roses too!”
“Uh …“blushed, she stopped with her jaws left open as she ran through her mind to think of constructive sentences to say. However, it was a love at first sight, I observed her for a long period before making the first move.
After about five minutes, she replied “Hey Jasen, erm, ok, shall we make this our first date? Since we are beginners and we kind of click why not just give it a go at the relationship?”
Feeling a little shocked by her calm replies, I thought for a while too. “Alright, it’s a good idea. I doubt there are many couples who will have first dates in the hospital”. As I said that, both of us started to laugh.
At the pond, we chatted non stop for about an hour before I feel that I may have to go back to the ward before Sister1 Carlen starts looking for me. She is a very nice and gentle Nurse; think she is quite old too.
She brought me back to the ward, and there I saw Sister sitting there at the cubicle talking with one of the patients. As we step in, she looked up and saw us holding hands. The look on her face was not pleasant. Well, what could we do? Nothing, we just did what we had to do a hug and a kiss. Then I bid her good bye before she left.
Sister came over to me and asked me what I was up to with her girls. I just told her the truth about liking her and what are my plans after I go back to school. Was deciding on spending more time with her so am considering nursing too. However, what inspired me to go into this once hated by myself course was that I like the way the nurses care for patients and it was something I came to liked during my stay. I had also done a soul searching before I came to a final decision about making this great leap.
Upon returning to a week later, we continue meeting one another in school for lunch. We stayed near one another – just a few train stations away in the east. Every day, we get to see one another home too. Upon knowing that I also do cross-stitches, she dared me to do cross-stitches during our long hour breaks. We also spend hours on it every Sunday and sometimes instead of doing cross – stitch we will go for sports like swimming and cycling. On Saturdays, we will hang out at her home doing revision. Her parents did not notice anything not right. They were usually out on Saturdays on cruise while she chose to stay home to do her revision. Therefore, I had the honor of keeping her by my side.
As the term test neared, on weekends, we will be at my place as I asked her to stay overnight at my place so that we could study until late at night. While doing that, I secretly went to ask the school for a transfer of diploma. I was told to submit an application form, which the application will be processed after the semester exams.
Therefore, with that done I was all set to study doubly hard and try to score distinctions too. Our time together did not shorten; we were even closer during the exam period. Though we had took different diplomas, we stuck together and I stayed overnight at her place during the exam period for keeping her accompanied. I kept the idea tight lip sealed from her. It was hard to keep it tight sealed as keep secrets has always not been easy for me – especially personal secrets... those decision types.
When the term test was over, we took sometime off to spend together for fun and games. We went to Sentosa for 2days overnight stay at a chalet. The expenses were bore by her parents as a way to encourage her in her studies.
After the one-week long break, we were back in school. The war to the end of the semester began; it was a tough fight for me having many assignments. She on the other hand had lots of clinical practice coming up during the long holidays, however before that; they have many personal assignments to complete. Therefore, we decided the only time too really sit down to chat would only be during the weekends.
We ended up using the weekends for chatting instead of revision – with daily revision and assignments to keep us busy there is no other reason to say that we are not to do other things apart from studies.
Chapter 3 – New Life
Everything was going fine right up to the semester exams. During the exam week, we did not have time to meet or even camp at one another’s home. We were too busy to do so.
With that, we got through our semester exam. After the exams, the results were released 3 weeks later. Both of us scored distinctions and we were very happy. We celebrated the occasion with dinner at Snoopy Place in Plaza Singapura.
With her vacation hospital attachment, I kept myself busy with training and picking her up after work to go shopping and dinner. This went on for 2 months, one month for her attachment, the other we did sports together.
Finally, a week before the new semester is about to begin… I received the letter of enrolment. I showed her the letter. She was shocked at first. However, she decided to scold me for keeping her in the dark. However, she was in joy that I wanted to join nursing. Moreover, she was keen on knowing what had got me so interested in this course? I gave her the same reasons I have told Sister before. She understood what I said and I gave my apology for keeping her in the dark. While telling her, I wanted to give her a surprise as a birthday gift.
With just one more week to go before the commencement of school, we decided to use this time to better prepare ourselves with our knowledge of what is to come in the new semester. So she suggested that she will tutor me on what she was taught in the previous semester. While I will teach her some IT skills just in case she may need them for her projects.
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School reopened, in July. We were back in school. This time I started as a Year 1 Nursing student while she is a Year 2 Nursing student. We got closer together and were like magnets. However we know our limits, and never gone too far off.
Life was a brisk, with time spend on revision and sports everyday. We were literally living together – I would usually camp over night at her place like before.
We will do our revision together and during my vacation hospital attachment, I got to work together with her throughout my year 1 attachment during the vacation. However, as we were both devoted to rendering care to the patients, we seldom talk during attachment hours.
We enjoyed one another’s company and had a great time. Life was not lasting though…
Chapter 4 – Reflection
At the end of her Year 2 and my Year1, she told me a sad piece of news. Her parents have decided that they would like her to go aboard to continue her studies half way off from her current diploma. They felt that a foreign environment will aid her in completing her degree faster. And less stressful for her. She had no choice but to agree to their plans. In addition, she decided that we should maybe just keep in touch. Our love may have been long – about 1 and a half years, was a very meaningful one to both of us. It has left a deep impact on us, until then it was the last time I met her. I have decided not to contact her after that. I told her that maybe we could just end our relationship here, she will continue with her studies there while I complete mine here.
To help in not breaking our hearts further, I made a painful decision not to send her off. When my parents asked me why Joan is no longer coming over to our house on alternate weekends, I broke the news that we are no longer together. She has left for Australia and that I have no regrets knowing her at all. I love her deep in my heart, but was willing to let her go. I believe that we have gone thus far and if we are fated to meet, again we shall and will.
Life continued as usual during my 2-month long vacation – with 1 month of attachment and my constant training in sports.
1-month later…
Do I miss her? I asked myself while I was jogging along the same path that I fell down 2 over years ago… Though I used to frequent the tracks, I hardly bother with my memories. My steps slowed down…
Jogged on for a bit more and decided to rest against a rain tree nearby. There I began to really have flash backs of my past, from the day I know her to the day she left me. I have many fond memories I treasured during the times we were together. They were unforgettable. As I have been holding on to her and treating her nice, I feel that letting go was as easy as ever… having been loved and given the loved, it is always nice to let it go when it has to go…
I closed my eyes and began to sink in deeper into my thoughts. Suddenly, I can feel someone patting on my shoulders. “Who was that?” I asked.
“who else?” came this familiar voice. As I looked up, I saw her… What was she doing here, I asked myself… Am I dreaming or am I seeing her standing in front of me in real life?
Things were unclear… Suddenly I fainted…
Thoughts
Hey!
Thanks for your interest in reading this slightly lengthy story, spanning six chapters, about 8 pages long, one of my longest I think. Hopes it is not too crappy, love this story very much as I wrote it. Along the way, I have to try to think of the plots, relevance and the events taking place with the time settings. It is not always easy writing stories; it is the fun that counts. To those out there who would like to do story writing, read novels. Get inspirations and start writing your own world.
That is about all I would say, hope that you enjoy... Till the next story!
Jasen
Written: 17 Jan 04 – 18 Feb 04
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1 Sister – Staff nurse of the ward.
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