memory lane :: July 15 - 21, 2004

Disclaimer: All characters whether dead or alive has no relation to the story.

To all whom I know at Bishan institute.

6.00am

Today’s my last time waking up so early in the morning to travel to Bishan for my education at the post-secondary level.

I will be making a trip down to a tertiary institute to do my enrolment. Though I feel a sense of lost at thoughts, what can I do? I can’t possibly turn this offer down, can I? It wouldn’t be a wise choice to do that since gaining a chance to study in a tertiary institution is not easy especially since you have got only the minimum requirements. I felt that chances are hard to come by and once missed, they are gone forever.

Just as I reach the station platform, the train arrived just in time for me to join in the morning birds heading for school and work. It is the first day of the week – as many would call it the ‘Monday blues’, where everyone would be lazy – most of us, would prefer to stay home for an extended holiday of some sort.

Having managed to get into the packed train, I quickly found a spot to settle myself down comfortably. With that, my mind took a complete spin off into sub-conscious mode.

My past came into view, from the days I was an infant to the day I started to grow and gain understanding… till the day I am growing up to become what I am today – on my way to adulthood.

How I really wish I can use a time turner to go back in time to perform what I really want to do. However, that was not to be, we don’t live in the times of the magical world created by J.K. Rowling. Neither do we live in the world of Agatha Christie, where she had disappeared just like one of her characters in a story.

These days, we live in an ever changing world where everyone and everything changes. Nothing remains in this world. We will die someday, somehow. It would be good to cherish what we have and live every minute of our lives in this world to the fullest. No one knows when and where they will die. Nor do we know when there will be anyone there to see us off when we visit never land.

Though we are born into this world with nothing, we should also leave this world with no worries. There will always be worries, they just pile up over time for you to resolve them with or without any help.

As these thoughts went by, my mind started to churn out weirder thoughts. The thought of living this world with no worries, about saving lives of those unfortunate, as well as those whom you love.

I can still recall about a year ago, I got my ‘O’ levels result and was eligible for most of the courses offered by the various institutions in Singapore. When I was making my choices, my life took a turn. I had really no idea as to what course I had exactly wanted to study.

Then slowly, came the thought of taking up Nursing. My cousin is a Nurse, and given my background knowledge and passion to save people, it wouldn’t be a problem to take up Nursing.

However, when I had went for the Open House of the institution offering the course. I took a deeper consideration about taking the plunge which could be deadly in the event that I am not prepared to do my best.

I had my worries and fears about not making the mark in achieving my goals. Given since young I had setbacks in my performance, which led me to be a little fickle minded in understanding what I wanted in life.

Moreover, after months of learning in school, I started to see setbacks. It wasn’t easy at first to come to terms with myself that this is what I really want – to work in an IT Firm in the near future – when the IT industry is taking a slow move, which could turn to a complete stop. I endured on for the next few months, did above average for my term test, and, flung my written exams. I passed by supp papers, except Math. Enjoyed my holidays and here I am, finally noticing that my future is in bleak darkness, decided to take the road not taken at the previous turn by turning back on this path.

To take a turn back on the path was not easy. With the strong turbulences and going against all odds made it all the more a difficult task to deal. Without much success, I was not able to return back to safety. My application was being rejected more than once – thrice to be exact. My mind began to awoke from the pitch darkness realizing that what has been done is undone able.

Having given up, I decided to apply for a place in a post secondary institute. To the same course – Nursing. My application was as a late applicant, it wasn’t easy to get in either.

Many calls were made to get to the relevant officials and etc to speak to them and I got a place at the end. Went there for the interview in my day’s best after I got the call that I have been admitted days after. The rest were history, there after I got into the institution and made many new friends with my new-found classmates.

I was studying in that school for two days - just two days and hell broke loose thereafter. I received a call after class from the institution. They had decided to give me a place there. Was it a good sign? I wondered, after all time will tell before long. I went down to collect the enrolment package and was delighted to know that I have been offered a place and all I had to do was pay the school fees as well as pass the medical exam.

Just as I woke, I realized I have reached City Hall station. Time to alight and transfer to the North bound train. I hope that life will be better with a change in environment and I won’t fail my exams again!

Written: July 15th, 2004 – July 21st, 2004